You must be wondering how men and women think when it comes to sex. As expected, they have different perspectives and views on how to have a steamy sex life. In order to have a healthy sex life with your partner, it is vital to know what constitutes consensual sex and what doesn’t. You also need to know what prevents your partner from coming to you when they are in the mood.
Most of you might be having problems knowing what sexual acts are pleasurable and what are offensive to your partner. So, to help you hurdle your present sexual problems or prevent you from having ones in the future, we suggest you keep reading up to the end to know your differences and learn how to overcome them.
We will teach you what matters to men and women to satisfy their sexual desires even when you don’t agree with each other. This article will give you a number of situations where men and women disagree when it comes to sex.
1. Compliments: Men Being Nice While Women Think They’re Flirting
Compliments often come from colleagues and friends who you interact with on a daily basis. Of course, when someone finds a woman beautiful when they have a new dress they will tell them, “You look beautiful wearing that dress.”
Women are used to receiving compliments; however, when a man gives them a compliment out of the blue, they may view that as flirting or sexual harassment. To prevent someone to mistakenly take your compliment as a form of harassment, here is what you can do:
Know the person you will compliment. If you randomly tell someone they look good with a skirt, she will probably think your trying to harass her.
- Learn to use the right adjectives. Do not use over the top descriptions to describe someone. Again, they will assume that you have no good intentions. It will sound insulting rather than pleasing.
- Say it nicely. Do not wink or gesture that is uncalled for. Most of the time saying it is enough.
2. Consent: Women Want to Be Asked While Men Aren’t So Sure
Unless it is clear between you two that sex is the next step to your relationship, it is best to get an affirmative consent. Consent may be obtained verbally or physically. About 56 percent of men think that they do not need the consent of their partner these days.
In the modern world, men and women meet faster than usual. The getting-to-know each other stage comes shorter. Sometimes, sex may even come first than actually knowing the person.
To know when it is okay for sex, take note of these important factors:
- Ask for permission. Although chivalry is not that common anymore, it is always best to ask if it’s okay with your partner to finally have sex. This is to prevent being accused of rape or harassment of any form.
- Communicate with your partner. Talking makes a good bond between you and your partner. It is through communication that you’ll discover the limits of your partner as early as possible. It’ll also help you to discover when to take it slowly or when to move faster.
- Define your relationship. Having sex with someone who isn’t your partner yet is quite difficult unless it is clear for both parties that everything is just casual sex. So, if it is just for one night, at least define it.
- Make a move. Show some signs that you are ready for sex to let your partner know that you are consenting or that you are asking for consent. Again, do not over-do it.
3. Sexy: A Word Women Feel is Harassment While Men Say Gender Matters
The word “sexy” is most commonly associated with women. While men think that “sexy” is more harassing when men say it to women. According to a study, women are harassed when a boss tells an employee to wear something sexy for a meeting regardless of the boss’ sexual orientation.
People are too exposed to media’s sensational use of the word sexy that it becomes harassing to the members of the conservative community.
To say sexy correctly, here is how:
- Say it to the right person. Understand that some people are insecure. Nowadays, sexy becomes offensive when you say it to someone who is not slim. Media used sexy to pertain to slim women that it becomes demeaning when it reaches someone who is not.
- Relax. If someone tells you you’re sexy, do not immediately come to a conclusion that they are harassing. Maybe they plainly admire you.
- Mean what you say. When you say sexy, mean it. And convey it clearly to the person whom you say it to.
- Do not be vague. Some people are intellectually sexy while some are physically sexy. If you find someone sexy in a peculiar way, expound it for you not to be misunderstood.
4. Changing It Up: Why Women Think Lack of Consent Constitutes Rape and Men Think Otherwise
Not all people see anal or oral sex as sensuous. If a woman agrees to having sex with you that doesn’t automatically mean that they allow you to have anal or oral sex with them. Statistics indicate that around 81 percent of women find anal sex without consent as an act of rape. While 92 percent think forcible oral sex is indeed rape. Men think these acts are part of consensual sex, which women do not agree to.
If you want to have oral or anal sex, here is what you’ll do:
- Ask her directly. The safest is to ask your partner if he or she permits you to do oral or anal sex whichever it is that you like. Remember, sex should be consensual.
- Learn to understand your partner’s movements. If she pulls you to do it, that means she allows you to continue what you are doing. If she pushes you away, understand that sex is a slow process. Your partner will eventually tell you when she is ready for that.
5. Timing: Men Love Sex in the Morning While Women Want it at Night
A recent study shows that the men are more active for sexual activities in the morning as early as 6 a.m. Women feel sexually aroused at night, especially before midnight. However, the time does not really matter if you want to enjoy some steamy sex with your partner.
Here are some helpful tips:
- Agree to a schedule. If both of you are aroused at a different time of the day, you can always compromise and at least try. After all, sex is a joint effort between partners.
- Enjoy the moment. Do not pressure your partner. You can always do the teasing to get your partner say yes at the same moment you want it.
- Do not lose hope. Sex becomes successful when you keep trying. Keep practicing.
6. Sexual Assault: Men Think Sexual Assaults Have Decreased While Women Disagree
Studies show that through the years, men think that the number of women being assaulted today has essentially decreased. Although most of the men and women agreed that the percentage didn’t move at all, 17 percent of men think sexual assault has gone down.
If you are wondering how to avoid being a part of the statistics by committing sexual assault, here is what you need to know:
- Do not force someone to have sex. Forcible sex is a crime you do not want to commit. If you want to have sex, entice your partner instead.
- Do not think that sexual assault does not happen at all. If all men think this way, there will be a radical decrease on the number sexual assault.
7. Former Sex Offenders: To Date or Not to Date?
Men usually let their partners explain while they were jailed as a sexual offender, while 48 percent of women will immediately stop seeing someone with such a record. Women are more afraid of becoming the next victim of a former sex offender. Men are not too worried because they can protect themselves more from women who are former sex offenders.
Here are tips to handle this kind of situation:
Be true to your partner. Before establishing feelings towards your partner, admit to them your former offense. Honesty might save you from losing her trust. It will also help you not to lose her altogether.
- Move on. If your partner is the former sex offender and it is against your principles to date someone like them, explain it nicely.
- Give your partner a chance. People change. A former sex offender can change from being their former selves to becoming a better version of themselves. It is not that hard to give another chance. After all, everyone deserves a second chance.
8. Entitlement: Sex, Long-Term Relationships and Obligations
While one percent of men think this way, women think otherwise. Women see sex as something you give to your partner on a regular basis because you are both in the relationship. Women are most likely generous when it comes to having sex in a relationship even when they are not in the mood.
The majority of the men and women think alike though – that no one is entitled to sex, just because they have a relationship. Here are effective ways to control sexual desires, so you won’t force someone to have sex just because they are entitled to it:
- Remember no one is entitled to sex. If you don’t feel like it or if your partner does not want to have sex, respect each other’s rights to rest.
- Exercise. Go jog or do other activities that can help you release the frustration of not having sex on that day. There is always tomorrow for you to try again.
9. Sex Drives: Women Depend on their Moods While Men Have a Constant Need
Surveys show that 36 percent of women admit that their urge to have sex with their partners depend on their mood. Here are tips to get your partner to feel the urge to have sex:
- Give her a massage. You can always turn the mood of a woman from a nay to a yes when you know how and where to touch her. Knowing how to walk your woman to induce her to have sex is a talent you should learn.
- Be honest with your partner. You can always try and ask your partner if she wants to have sex with you even if she is not in the mood to do so. A healthy relationship has a good foundation when they communicate well with their partners.
- Talk about sex. Sometimes when you talk about sex, you excite your partner at the same time feed your desire to have sex. Talking about sex may help entice your woman and get her to agree to make love with you.
- Wait until she’s in the mood. There is always a next time. Waiting for another day to get her to bed won’t hurt. It is not that hard to understand your partner sometimes.
10. Pop Culture: Belittling Women or Not?
The majority of women agree that the American pop culture is belittling the status of women in our society by using them as endorsers for selling more male enhancement products and services. About 32 percent of men don’t think this way.
To avoid this kind of conversation, here is a tip:
- Avoid demeaning opinions. Women would appreciate if you uplift their status by looking at them differently from how the media displays them. Your woman will appreciate you more and will give you more opportunities to sleep with her when you value them.
- Avoid too much pornography. Some women feel degraded when it comes to sex because men are portrayed, most of the time, as dominant in pornographic materials. When you do not watch too much porn, you can avoid perceiving your partner as the oppressed.
11. Protecting Women: What Both Sexes Think About Consensual Laws
Studies show that women see consensual laws as helpful and necessary to protect them from sexual harassment or any kind of abuse. Around 28 percent of men think that it is not necessary to have these kinds of laws to decrease the number of incidents and crimes involving women’s rights.
To protect women aside from consensual laws, you should:
- Respect the rights of your partner. Whether it be a man or a woman, it is still between the both of you if you agree or disagree on sexual activities that your partner has asked you to do.
- Know your partner’s culture. Some men or women come from a place where they do not have written laws, but have culture and norms that you need to know. The culture of your partner is vital so they won’t feel violated at any point of the sexual act.
- Be open to adjustments. When your partner has limitations, have a counter-offer so you can still both enjoy sex even with the presence of your limitations.
12. Attending College: Both Sexes Weigh on the Risks of Sexual Assault
About four percent of men think women are at a low risk of sexual assault when they go to a university, while only one percent of women agrees with this kind of thinking. When women are within the university grounds, men presume that the administration offers the best security that can help them avoid sexual assault.
Since it is within the school, perpetrators are unlikely to commit crimes. However, women disagree with this kind of thinking. Women think that the place does not matter when it comes to offenders.
Here are tips to remove this kind of anxiety from women:
- Let your partner know you’re there to protect them. Do not forget that women expect men to protect them as the latter are perceived to be stronger than the former. A strong partner helps relieves stress and depression that can cause women to avoid sex.
- Educate your partner on how to protect herself. When you make your woman feel safe when you’re around, she will also feel safe when you are in bed with her.
13. Women in the Military: Is Sexual Assault Real or Not?
While about 10 percent of men agree that when women are involved in the military, there is a slightest chance of women becoming victims of sexual assault, most women disagree. Women in the military are seen stronger than women who are not in the service; however, women think being in the military do not at all decrease the risk of becoming a victim.
But, the majority of men and women agree that the involvement of women in the military increases the risk of having sexual assaults. To change the perception of your partner when it comes to dating someone in the military:
- Assure them that there are laws that can prevent this from happening. Assurance is what women need in every relationship. These days they need to be assured that their partner will not hurt them when they say no to them when it comes to sex.
14. Matters of Size: Why Men and Women Differ
Men think that the size of their penis is absolutely necessary in order to give their partners the maximum pleasure when having sex, but women think otherwise. Size does not matter as women admit being hurt if it their partner’s penis is too big for them. What matters to women is the stamina and performance of men when it comes to making love.
To avoid stressful thinking when it comes to the size of your penis, follow these tips:
- Stop thinking and start enjoying. When you keep thinking that your partner will not be satisfied, eventually she will not be satisfied. You will be frustrated all through the night. Enjoy the moment and do your best.
- Focus on performance. Pleasure comes not by size but by the ability to perform until your partner reaches orgasm. As we said, sex is a joint effort.
- Try male enhancement techniques. Apart from keeping your attitude positive towards love making, you may try effective male enhancement techniques to increase your stamina, performance and well as penis size. These techniques include penis exercises, penis extenders and natural herbs.
15. Orgasms: Men Assume Women Can Reach Climax by Penetration Alone
Men think that women reach maximum pleasure by means of penetration alone. Women are not like men. Women also need to stimulate by other sexual acts. Make sounds if this will help her have her orgasm.
To do this:
- Ask her. Women differ when it comes to reaching orgasm. Some women experience orgasm even only with their breasts. Know your partner’s desires and fantasies and do them. Women have a broad imagination and are much adventurous. Asking them what satisfies them will give you the easiest way to please them.
- Do not put her in a position she is not comfortable with. Do not think of your comfort alone when having sex. Notice if your partner is having a problem adjusting to whatever sexual position you make. When they are uncomfortable, she will not reach her orgasm.
- Make love. Do not have sex with the goal of reaching the peak of her orgasm. When you do it with love, she will enjoy it more. This will stimulate her the most.
Sex does not only remove stress from work or anxiety of any form, but it can decrease the effects of them. Although men and women disagree on a lot of things, there is always a way to meet in the middle. Being in a relationship means accepting your partner for whatever views they have, even before they met you. Now that you are enlightened of what can turn a woman on and off, you can now manage your sex life and hers without hurting her feelings or yours.
Remember that the tension between men and women is understandable as they perceive things innately different from the other. Women think that calling them sexy is offensive, while men think that it depends upon the situation. The differences between two people do not hinder both from enjoying each other’s existence, despite their beliefs.