You cannot seem to keep your mind off your coworker, yet you do not know how to get the relationship started without it ending in drama at work. Dating a woman from the office is quite similar to dating any other woman, except you have a better chance at landing a date with a coworker than a girl at the bar.
That is just one side of the picture. The reality is that dating a coworker is a touchy issue. If you go about it the wrong way, it may end in a disaster, so what to do to have a workplace romance that does not cost you your job? That is what this article is all about.
In this article you will learn more about the traits a woman wants in a guy. You will also get to know how to give reasons why anyone should date you. There are 22 easy tips you can use right now to land a date and maintain a relationship with the woman from the office.
1. Find The Common Interests That Will Guarantee You A Date.
Like any other woman, dating your coworker is going to take some work. Take a look at her desk or cubicle for some hints about her hobbies and interests. Start a casual conversation with a group of coworkers to subtly discover her interests. Use this information to create an amazing dating activity away from the office.
Why is that important? Common interests may not keep you both together forever, but they can draw you both close for sure. This will help you build a friendship that makes it less likely to cause drama if things do not work out.
2. Make It Obvious To Yourself What You Are Getting Into.
Your emotions are not in black and white after all. You can suppress your emotions, but cannot eradicate them. Still, you have to be logical in your decisions.
Here is what you should do:
- Write everything down.Take a pen and a paper and list the benefits of dating a woman at work on one side and the disadvantages on the other.
- What if things go south? Include the implications on your job if things do not work out.
- Analyze the list. Analyze the list logically to find out if pursuing a relationship is worth it.
- Be honest with yourself. Are you after sex, or is your aim is a long term relationship? Do not lose your job for a fling that is not worth it.
If you are aiming for more than sex and your job is not in danger too, then you should go for it.
3. Check The Company Policy On Dating Coworkers.
Rules are rules after all. You cannot break them. Go to your Human Resources (HR) department and find the company’s manual. Read up on the company’s policies for dating other staff members. Keep the information in mind when you make your advances to ensure you are not breaking any rules.
What if your company does not allow you to date coworkers? In such case, you should try to keep the romance off your workplace. It won’t be wise to get into anything that costs you your job.
Your company may not restrict you from getting into a relationship with a coworker, but having your crush sitting next to you will distract you for sure. This may jeopardize your job. How to cope with that? This article will get to that in the later sections.
4. Use Kindness As A Tool To Capture Her Attention.
Be subtle with your advances if you are not sure if your coworker feels the same way about you. Buy your crush and one of your boys a coffee. To other coworkers, you just bought two coffees for staff members, but this is your small investment in capturing your crush’s attention.
5. Find Out If You Are Both On The Same Page.
Ask a coworker who your crush has an eye on. Pay close attention to her behavior around you and the other guys in the office. Does she smile or blush around you? You do not have to wait for her to be totally interested to make your move. But it makes the process easier if she already has an eye on you.
6. Show Her The Best In You.
Be confident, not just around her but around the office too. She is looking for a confident and reliable man. You are in the best position to show that you meet these requirements as she sees you in the workplace daily.
Here is what you can do to win not only her confidence but the confidence of everyone at work:
- Be deliberate at meeting work deadlines. You need to be someone everyone looks up to. You need to be efficient, not the laughing stalk who cannot get anything right. Be punctual, ambient and proficient. You can win everyone’s heart, including your crush’s, with a positive persona.
- Take charge of a situation.Why not brag about your skills? It may not be a part of job description but it is always a great idea to take charge of a complicated situation. Take the lead and walk everyone through the difficult phase into achieving a goal.
- Offer help for free. Someone faints or needs help; step in and assist.
People talk and she will notice how confident and nice of a person you are. When you stand out in this way, she can trust that you can handle yourself on a date.
7. Offer To Take Her Out For Lunch.
Try not to miss an opportunity to go out on a group lunch or event that she attends too. Take a mental note of her preferences when she orders. This information will help you plan future dates.
It is your turn now. Ask her out for a lunch. Now is the great time for putting your knowledge about her food preferences to good use.
Is she a vegan or vegetarian? If she is a vegan, she won’t eat anything related to animals. This includes meat, milk, eggs and other dairy.
Is she allergic to any foods? If she is allergic to peanuts, ordering anything with peanuts in it would be a disaster.
Every girl likes a man who pays attention to detail, especially taking note of the little things.
8. Lighten Up Stressful Situations At Work With Humor.
Be a fun and positive influence at work without being the office clown. For example, if the copying machine breaks down, ask, “Does anyone want to use my type writer?” while holding up your pen.
9. Be The Guy Everyone Will Miss When You Are Not Around.
Friendly comments and questions do just that. You can ask “How was your weekend?” or “Noticed you did not have your car today. Can I give you a ride?” Small gestures like assisting when the coffee machine breaks down or sharing an encouraging word to a sad coworker are ways you can become irreplaceable.
This may sound a bit difficult to you if you are an introvert. At first, it may take some intentional effort on your part to make such gestures. It may also sound unnecessary to you at first, but with passing time, you will get more impulsive in making such gestures. You will also start to see positive response from your coworkers, including your crush.
10. Invite Her To An After Work Lime With Other Coworkers.
It is imperative that your friendship has to continue outside the office if this is to work out. Create casual activities that will allow you an opportunity to know her better.
Bars and clubs are not good choices since the environment is not the best for getting to know someone. If you take her to a bar or a club, it would give her a negative impression of your intentions. You are not hitting on her just for sex, remember?
Diners and coffee shops are comfortable locations to unwind after work. Keep it short; remember you guys have work the next day. Order something light and refreshing. She will appreciate the thoughtfulness.
11. Keep All Physical Contact For Outside The Office.
If you start getting physical during working hours, it will only build sexual tension. This can lead to having sex in the bathroom or elevator, which can get you in trouble or distract you from your work.
It is natural to be sexually attracted to her, but your office is not the right place to express such emotions. What can you do to keep this tension to the lowest during your work hours? Here are a few tips:
- Focus on work. Try to focus more on your work. The more your sit idle, the more time you get to think about other things.
- Do not flirt. Keeping flirting to a minimum will also help.
- Send messages. Send text messages during breaks.
- Leave notes. Leave notes in each other’s drawers.
- Meet up after work. If you have already jumped to the sex stage of your relationship, just talk about it. Meet up after work and have a great night together.
This way you can reduce some of the sexual tension at work.
12. Do Not Have Lunch Together Every Day; You Will Burn Out.
Allow for some time to miss each other. Agree to do lunch once a week, twice for the most. Do not isolate yourself from the rest of your coworkers. Seeing each other too often can get you tired of each other.
13. Be An Asset To The Company To Make It Harder For Them To Fire You.
People are going to notice about you are in a relationship, sooner or later. It is also likely that your relationship may distract you from your work. This puts your job at jeopardy.
What to do in such a situation?
Take your work seriously. Put in extra hours if your relationship is distracting you during working hours. This will make you valuable to the company. This way, it would be less likely that the relationship will be the reason why you lose your job.
14. When It Is Officially “A Relationship,” Go Public.
You do not have to announce it in front of everyone. But if asked, confirm that you guys are a couple. What to do if you are trying to keep it low and escape the questioning? You will find lots more tips as you keep reading.
15. Do Not Use Working Hours As Extended Quality Time.
It would be unprofessional if you were to use office hours for your personal chit-chat. It might not go unnoticed and may get you into a trouble with the management. Above all, chatting all day will take away all the charm from your relationship real quick.
Whatever your normal interactions were, keep it that way. Do not spend hours chatting at each other’s desks or in the lunch room. She is still your coworker and you are on office time. Focus more on work. You can spend a quality evening with her whenever you like.
16. Look Sharp At All Times.
She will fall for your brains and personality, but you need to look presentable, as well. Do not take your appearance for granted and always try to look your best.
You do not have to spend a lot at buying new clothes or shoes. Here are some tips for you on how to look fresh on a budget:
- Do a wardrobe check. Put together all your work clothes on the weekend to ensure you notice any stains or loose buttons.
- Shop online. Check online for professional fashionable combinations. You can find a lot of good deals online.
- Do some research. Do your research and make sure to visit a few shops before you buy anything. Go for the outlets that offer best stuff at a reasonable price.
Take pride in the way you dress. Standing out will catch her attention and land you that date.
17. Do Not Go Overboard Trying To Keep It A Secret.
Avoid the question when it is possible in the early stages. If you are asked “Are you guys going out?” or “Are you guys dating?” A simple “We are getting to know each other” answer is polite. If your boss or someone in authority is inquiring, be honest and straight forward and say yes, if it is official.
18. Leave Personal Discussions For Outside The Office.
If she did something on the date you did not like, do not pull her away from work to discuss it. Personal arguments and disagreements will distract you from your work. It will also distract her and she will begin to avoid you. So wait till you can meet outside the office.
19. Allow Sex To Be Her Decision And Do Not Push For It.
Your relation has to come to this, at some point. It is quite natural. Instead of avoiding it altogether or pushing for it, a better way is to wait for the better opportunity. If all you do is make sex puns or comment on her butt then it may even offend her. It may give her a signal that you want her just for her looks and all you have on your mind is sex.
Here is what you should try instead:
- Be patient. Do not have sex for the first month of dating. Take time to get to know each other – the wait is worth it.
- Make it official. Allow the relationship to be official before sex comes into the picture.
- Talk it out. Talk her about the sex and make sure you both make this decision together.
That will save you from having a sexual harassment lawsuit on your hands.
20. Leave Cute Notes On Her Desk.
Try not to leave a note that is explicit or inappropriate. Write something encouraging, funny or inspiring that can put a smile on her face like, “A smile is a girls best makeup” or “What does not kill you, will make you stronger. You might be a bodybuilder after you leave this office lol.”
21. Keep Anything She Tells You About Work Confidential.
Make sure to be trustworthy and loyal. When she confides in, just listen. Do not try to correct or fix her problems. She may just need to unwind and may not always mean it when she says “I hate my boss. I could kill him.” Being trustworthy and loyal are traits that will not only make you more attractive to her, but also to your organization.
22. Limit Chatting About The Office When You Go Out.
Remember, slow and steady wins the race. Move from just a coworker, to a friend and then her man. Make these transitions smooth and gradual. Talk about your goals and interests, likes and dislikes. Concentrate on the things that help you get to know each other. Constantly bring up work drama or issues can leave you stuck in the “coworker zone.”
Dating a woman from the office can be a complicated thing, says the majority of people, but it does not have to be. There are many successful marriages and relationships that started from workplace romance. With a genuine thoughtfulness, confident attitude and a good work ethic, you will be one more addition to the success stories of finding love at the workplace.