Marriage may seem to be the best type of relationship if you want a satisfying sex life, but it seems that couples in a committed relationship experience the same dry spell that singles do. Today, sex satisfaction in marriage is one of the biggest issues that often lead to many fights.
For those who are looking for ways to improve their sex life, here are 19 tips that you can try to add some sizzle in your sex life.
1. Put in Enough Effort to Look Great for Your Partner
Looking good for your spouse applies to both men and women. Marriage makes a lot of people complacent about their appearance. In fact, some individuals lose the drive to look good for their spouse after they have tied the knot; however, if you want to keep the fire burning, you need to try to look good for your partner.
Some people might think that focusing on outside appearances is shallow, but it says a lot about how much you care about yourself and your spouse. By taking care of yourself, the way you used to when you first met your spouse, you are showing interest on your spouse.
You need to do this effort not only for your spouse but also for yourself. If you make an effort to look your best, your spouse will feel that you are not taking him or her for granted, which will lead to a more pleasurable sexual experience.
2. Put Your Partner First
When you are a married and there are kids to take care of, it’s easy to put the children first. Balancing the demands of your career, your role as a parent, and your social life are difficult enough that you may not find much time for your partner; however, a marriage will not work if you can’t find the time to communicate with your spouse properly.
For men, in particular, work often takes precedence which is why a lot of wives complain of having husbands who are not paying enough attention to their needs. Striking the right work-life balance is necessary even and you need to make sacrifices be it avoiding overtimes or constant business trips to make your marriage work. After all, the best sexual experience is when both partners feel each other’s love for them.
3. Be Confident in Your Own Skin
Sexy is a state of mind and confidence is one of the best accessories that you can wear in bed. While having a fit body could improve the way you feel about yourself, it’s also vital to feel great with your body if you want to have a pleasurable time in bed. If you feel awkward about your body, it’s hard to reach sexual satisfaction.
When you are not constantly apologizing for your body, it will be easier to try out new things in bed. You would also not find it hard to initiate adventures in bed and find more creative ways to bring pleasure to your partner. Self-image has a huge factor on how pleasurable sex is with a partner, so making ways to improve the way you think about your body can have awesome effects on your bedroom romps.
4. Schedule Sexy Time in Your Calendar
While it is important to spend quality time with your spouse, sex is also an essential part of any romantic relationship. This means that you have to make time for bedroom romps. Married couples often find themselves neglecting their sex life especially when they are busy with their career.
Sex satisfaction and a happy marriage will always go hand in hand. When nothing seems to be happening in the bedroom, it’s an indication that there is something wrong in the relationship. If having sex is impossible due to scheduling conflicts, setting a date for sexy time is the best option. While some people think that sex should be spontaneous, there are times when the only thing that works is to set a date for doing the deed.
5. Make Locked Doors the Best Excuse to Focus on Your Spouse
Keeping doors locked when you and your spouse are at home is a must. It’s important to take the time to focus on your partner and to, momentarily, forget the children and their issues. Most married couples who report that their sex lives are in a slump are those who have teenage kids not couples with newborn babies. This means that if you want sex satisfaction in marriage, you need to put in some effort to make things work.
Based on that research, the main reason why couples no longer engage in sexual encounters is because of the lack of privacy. About 46 percent reveal that the fear of getting caught or being heard makes couples disinterested in sexual activities while nine percent reported that they lacked interest in the act.
6. Stop Making Excuses to Engage in Sex
If you want your marriage to work, you need to stop making excuses so you can avoid having sex. If you know that your sex life would lead to a low score in a marriage satisfaction scale, this should open your eyes to the reality that it’s time to seriously think about your sex life as a couple.
Great sex will only last if you try to make it happen. If you are constantly making excuses to avoid having sex due to your perceived insecurities and for any other reason, you could be sabotaging your own marriage.
People come up with various reasons not to have sex or to be excused from engaging in any adventurous bedroom activity. Some say they’re too old, others feel too shy or embarrassed. However, all of these are excuses and it’s time to stop making them.
7. Talking About Sex Makes the Act More Exciting
Do you talk about sex with your partner? Some couples just do the deed but they try to skirt around the subject of intercourse. In fact, there are individuals who would rather provide all the filthy details to their friends rather than initiate a conversation about sex with their partner. It turns out that this practice is wrong and it could even make sex issues worse.
If you are not happy or you don’t find your sex life pleasurable, it is important to make it known to your partner although in subtle ways. For instance, talking about sex while doing the act can be off-putting, so make sure that your timing is perfect. By voicing out what you want, need or expect in bed, it would be easier to find satisfaction as a couple.
8. Add Fun Factor to Sex by Acting Like Teenagers
If sex is starting to feel like doing the laundry, your bedroom romps might require a boost to become sizzling again. Some married couples see sex as a chore which takes out the fun factor in the act. A couple’s marriage satisfaction after a baby becomes part of the family should not suffer an all-time low. It is essential to keep the fire burning -this means making sex the fun activity that it used to be.
Being married is no excuse to pass on many adventurous sexual activities. It’s perfectly normal to try out kinky things together to improve your satisfaction. Of course, you need to talk things through and discuss what you want to do which often leads to talking about sex.
9. Pay Attention To Each Other’s Pleasure
The key to a successful relationship is to focus on your partner’s needs. If each party looks out for the pleasure of their partner, sex would be so much better. As previously noted marriage satisfaction in and out of bed requires communication. If you can tell your spouse what you want and expect, it would be easier to fulfill those needs.
There are many things that you can do to make sex more pleasurable for your spouse. For one, you can explore sexual fantasies together. It would also be great to explore your sexuality individually and as a couple. Marriage should not mark the end of a satisfying sex life.
In fact, some men even make the effort to invest in pills like ExtenZe to improve their staying power. Married life brings more stressors which can kill the libido and supplements like this can address the issue. However, it’s important to consult a doctor before taking them since they may have untoward effects especially when you are taking maintenance drugs.
10. Initiate Sex and Encourage Your Partner to Do the Same
There’s a social norm that men should initiate sex and that it’s wrong for females to ask their man for it. Despite what most people think, initiating sex whether you are a man or a woman is not wrong, in fact, it can be sexy. Men may always be the ones who ask for sex first but it would be awesome if more females develop enough courage to lead their man to bed.
Meanwhile, men should be more sensitive and attuned to the needs of their partners. It’s important to provide positive reinforcement each time your woman initiate sex. Women are also more sensitive to rejection so this could be a huge deterrent for her. While it may take some coaxing and creative manipulation, allowing your girl to know you want to be tempted from time to time can add spice to your sex life.
11. Don’t Underestimate the Power of Quickies
When you are wearing a band around your fingers, quickies may not seem to be such a brilliant idea. Given how demanding your life can get, sneaking away for a quickie could help add some color to your sex life. Beating the clock and knowing that you are under time pressure can be a huge libido booster, plus it can be a lot of fun especially when you are doing the deed while in danger of getting caught.
Variety is always great when it comes to sex and introducing quickies can be a good way to change up your usual routine. If you are feeling particularly stressed about something, the pleasurable experience can put you and your partner in a better mood which is a win-win situation for both parties.
12. You Are Never Too Old to Experiment Inside the Bedroom
Do you think that young couples are the only ones who can do adventurous things in bed? Well, it turns out that no one is too old to try new things. In fact, trying new things in the bedroom can bring back the spark in your relationship. Almost everyone wants to do something new in bed although they might be embarrassed to admit what it is.
By fostering an environment that allows your partner to share what he or she wants, your sex life can become more satisfying. Based on one study, married couples feel happiest when they are trying out new sexual positions. If you think that you can add more sizzle to your sex life, you can start by trying out some of these awesome positions.
13. Hone Your Bedroom Skills to Surprise Your Partner
Are you getting all your sexual education from porn? It might be time to switch things up a bit and venture into other territories. While porn can show some interesting things, you might not get much from it when it comes to showing your spouse the wonders of sex and broadening your education is always a good thing.
It’s perfectly acceptable to resort to self-help articles on how to improve your performance in bed. Practicing your newly acquired skills, as long as it doesn’t involve a third party, would also be great. By trying to enhance your bedroom skills, you can show your partner that you care enough about her to do something about the things that you think you need improvement in.
14. Anyone Can Talk Sexy –Challenge Yourself and Make It Happen
You don’t need a lot of fancy words to pull off sexy talk, what you need to do is channel your inner thoughts and loosen up. Struggling with sexy talk is not just an issue with women. Some males also find it hard to communicate their dirty thoughts.
If doing sexy talk is not one of your strongest suits, you should try to make it simple at first and based on your partner’s reaction, you can make things more interesting. Based on a marriage satisfaction survey, more women wished their spouse would talk about loving and sexy things more. By releasing your inhibitions and exploring your sexual side, you could add more fire to your sex life.
15. Be Intimately Familiar with Your Partner’s Sexuality
There are many benefits in being married and one of these is greater intimacy between you and your spouse. The popularity of the hit erotica novel Fifty Shades of Grey should give you a clue that being attuned to your partner’s sexuality is hot. Of course, it’s all up to you if you get into the entire BDSM thing if there’s consent between both parties.
Knowing what buttons to push and paying attention to the zones that could make your partner go wild requires observation skills. This means that you need to focus more when you are in bed with your spouse so you will know what turns her or him on. This makes sex better since you are making an effort to know what your spouse needs.
16. Be Generous with Compliments
You can deny all you want but the truth is everyone loves getting compliments, especially in bed. Sex and marital satisfaction always appear to be intertwined with each other that it’s easy to equate the two. Of course, it’s vital to improve your bedroom skills but it’s also important to let your partner know that he or she is doing something right.
While moaning could give your partner a clue that you are enjoying, taking the time to say it out loud would be a better idea; however, make sure that you are honest about your compliments and make it specific. Saying you love it when he or she does something is a good start.
17. Realistic Expectations Improves Sexual Satisfaction in Marriage
When it comes to sexual satisfaction people will always have expectations even if they say otherwise. Based on a study on sexual satisfaction in married couples, people who tied the knot have more sex than those who are single; however, when you look at couples around you, you will hear most of them complaining about the lack of sex in their married life.
Although sexual encounters are more likely to happen when you are married compared to when you are single, it’s vital to keep have realistic expectations to have satisfaction in your relationship. Your goals should be more than just orgasms; it should be about intimacy and closeness.
There will also be moments when your partner wouldn’t want to have sex and you should be prepared for that. It’s essential to put in some effort and to keep communication channels open between you and your partner so sex doesn’t become a huge barrier that ruins your marriage.
18. Sex Satisfaction in Marriage Comes From Quality Not Quantity
Why do you engage in sex? Marriage satisfaction statistics reveal that less than 50 percent of married couples are satisfied when it comes to sex. Some people might think that having sex more often could increase the level of satisfaction but it turns out that what couples should be doing is improving the quality not the quantity of their sexual encounters.
Quality is not about fancy or acrobatic positions –it is all about having the best intentions. One study revealed that having sex to feel closer to one’s partner yield higher satisfaction ratings than giving in to avoid a fight.
19. Don’t Be Afraid of Seeking Professional Help
Sex therapy may not be a new thing but there are still a lot of people who are uncomfortable with consulting a psychiatrist. It’s important to acknowledge that there are instances when you need a professional to help out with your struggles. Since a therapist is trained to handle delicate subjects, they would be the perfect person to help you out with your struggles.
These people are well-versed in helping couples get to the root of their issues. They are also bound by a code of ethics and if you have fears that your therapist will end up with your spouse, remember that those things only happen with troubled professionals. In most cases, therapists help in keeping couples together.
Lack of sexual activity is one of the red flags in any marriage. Even if you pass every marriage satisfaction quiz you take with flying colors, there’s no denying that your relationship is in trouble if you are unsatisfied with the sex.
Trying out these tips might help but if nothing seems to work, don’t shun professional help. Sex therapists can help with anything from issues with orgasms to trauma and other fears. Sex satisfaction in marriage is a vital component or a marriage satisfaction inventory. Addressing issues before they destroy your relationship completely is a must.